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House Targaryen
The game is on.

Game will be alted. Days will be 36 hours, nights up to 8. Modkill limit is 24 hours. There WILL NOT be a CF.

ETA: Removed the CF and modified some roles, see post #6.

Start of Day 1
Start of Day 2
Start of Day 3
Start of Day 5
House Targaryen
List of players:

House Wythers modkilled day 2
House Fell eliminated night 1
House Corbray
House Stokeworth
House Tollett
House Hayford
House Thorne
House Mallister eliminated day 1
House Florent
House Grandison
House Merryweather
House Smallwood eliminated day 2
House Erenford modkilled day 2
House Pommingham
House Plumm eliminated night 2
House Connington



Mods: Spidey, Shabba, Kat.
House Targaryen
RULES

All players must ..

1) Have an account on the the mafia discussion board, with the same account name as on this board.

2) Log in and view the thread and the discussion board anonymously at all times, unless they have informed the mods that this is not possible for technical reasons

3) Post at least once every 30 hours. Any player who has not posted within the last 30 hours will be automatically modkilled, whether or not the mods announce this on the thread. There will be no exceptions.

4) Send in role prescribed night actions (including the desire to take no action) within the time limit

5) Treat everybody else playing with courtesy and respect.

6) Make any edits the mods request of them as soon as possible, whether or not they believe that the posts need to be edited.

7) Contact the game mods as soon as possible if they feel they are at risk of breaking a rule or fear they or another person may have already done so.

Players must not ...

1) Act in any way intended to reduce the chance of their faction achieving its win conditions. (However, should all surviving members of a faction agree that they wish to resign and end the game early, they may do so by PMing the mods privately, without stating their intentions on-thread until the mods post to announce that the game is over.)

2) Discuss the game with any other living players outside this game thread except when told they may do so in their role PMs.

3) Reveal any information about the game at all in any other thread than this one, or in any other forum (including message boards and chat rooms) where it may be seen by a living player.

4) Give anybody access to any of their accounts (including game alts, if the game is using them), either here or on the mafia discussion board.

5) Attempt to obtain advice about the game from anybody not currently playing.

6) Post information on the thread relating to another player's past or current activity on (or absence from) the board that would not otherwise be available to anybody reading the thread.

7) Quote, in whole or part, PMs from (or other private conversations with) the mods on the thread, or discuss the timing of any PMs sent to the mods.

8) Post on the thread at any time after they are dead until the mods themselves post on the thread to announce that the game is over. Any posts accidently made after death should be immediately edited blank.

9) Make any bets about the game.

10) Offer to break any of these rules or any other rules the mods have set in place for the game, encourage others to do so or help to conceal the fact that rules have been broken.

AND JUST SO YOU KNOW

1) Failure to comply with the rules may result in any punishment the mods deem appropriate, including, but not limited to: a request to edit posts; formal warnings on thread; "modkilling", and ending the game prematurely in favor of one faction or none. The mods will also report rule infractions to the metamods after the game. Except where clearly stated in the rules, the mods are free to respond to any rules violation in whatever manner they wish. In all cases the mods' decision on these matters is final.

2) Feel free to PM or IM your thoughts (or questions) to the mods. We love to hear them!

3) The mods reserve the right to amend the rules during the game if we realize we've forgotten to cover something.

-------------------------

As well as running the game on this thread, the mods are also responsible for administering the spoiler spectator thread on the discussion board. Anybody not actively involved in the game (whether spectators or dead players) can request access to this thread by PMing the mods. If you have not posted on the spoiler board before and are not currently playing the game, please sign up on the spoiler board and post in the introduction thread before asking for spoiler access. Please not that while in general the mods will be happy to let anybody have access to this thread, they do reserve the right to refuse access to anybody for any reason. Accordingly, please do not ask anybody other than the mods for access to the spoiler thread or give yourself access to it, even if you have the power to do so.

Once given access to the thread, spoiled spectators should also take note of the following rules, and must not ...

1) Share any information from the spoiler spectator thread with living players, or post such in a forum where it may be seen by living players.

2) Offer any advice, hints or strategy to living players.

3) Make personal attacks

4) Post on the game thread before the mods announce that the game is over.

Spectators (of any sort) who ignore these rules are likely to have their access to the spoiler thread revoked and/or to be reported to the metamods.
House Targaryen
(If you've played before, you probably don't need to read this section. If you have any questions, PM the mods.)

Game Mechanics

1 - General Structure
Players may begin posting as soon as the mods announce that the game has started on the thread. The game begins during the day. The day ends when when a sufficient number of people have voted to lynch a player (remove that player from the game) or voted to end the day without a lynch. Many games also have time limits on the days, and if no consensus is reached when the time expires, the day ends with no lynch. When the day phase has ended, night begins. The mods will then post a scene reporting the outcome of the day. Players may continue posting in the thread but no voting is allowed. Night ends when the mods post the morning scene reporting the outcome of the night actions. Day and night phases continue to alternate until the game ends.

2 - Day Phase
During the day, players may post in the thread and vote. Some roles may have special powers which can be used during the day.

2.1 - Voting Mechanics
To vote for a player: bold that player's name.
To vote to end the day without a lynch: bold the word night.
To change your vote: bold the other player's name (or bold night).
To remove your vote without casting a new vote: bold the phrase remove vote.

2.2 - Voting Restrictions
You may only vote during the day phase. You can only have one vote outstanding at any time. You may not vote for yourself. You may not edit a vote into a post. You may not edit a vote out of a post.

2.3 - Bold Restrictions
The use of bold should be limited to voting. If you want to emphasize a players name or another word, you can underline the word or post using a different color

2.4 - Majority Defined
A majority means either more than half of the active players voting for one player's lynch or half or more of the active players voting to go to night without a lynch.

2.5 - Ending the Day
The day ends as soon as a majority is reached (or, if the game has a day time limit and the players fail to achieve a majority, once the time limit has elapsed). Anyone lynched is no longer an active player and must not post in the thread. Votes can no longer be withdrawn and new votes cannot be cast until the night phase ends.

2.6 - Evening Scene
The mods will post a scene shortly after the day ends to report the results of the day actions. If the day ended with a player's lynch, the mods might also reveal information about the lynched player, such as the player’s alt or alignment. This is the mods’ choice, and they’ll explain what, if any, information will be revealed in the game rules. There are no hidden clues in the evening scenes.

3 - Night Phase

During the night, players may post in the thread but may not vote. Some players will have the ability to perform special actions. Once again, the mods decide which roles will be included for their game, so be sure to fully read the game rules and any role descriptions which may be included.

3.1 - Performing a Night Action
If your role includes the ability to perform a special action at night, you need to PM the mods to indicate the action you wish to take. Most, if not all, roles have the ability to "withhold" their powers (i.e. take no action). This will be made clear to the roled players, and, usually, to all other players as well. If you chose to not perform your allowed action, you must PM "no action" to the mods. Most games have a time limit on nights. All players must PM their night actions to the mods within this timeframe. Players are strongly encouraged to send their night actions as soon as possible. You may also send in a PM for your special action during the day phase.

3.2 - Contingent PM
If you send in a PM during the day phase, you may choose to list alternative actions contingent on the manner in which the day ended. If none of the contingencies you list actually occur, your PM will be disregarded, and you must send a new PM to the mods.

3.3 - Provisional PM
You may choose to send a provisional PM if you want to further consider your night action but do not want to extend the night if all other roled players have decided upon their actions. Provisional PMs must be clearly marked as such. A provisional PM will not be acted upon by the mods until it becomes a 'definite PM.' A provisional PM becomes definite as soon as ( a ) you confirm your choice with another PM, ( b ) all other roled players that need to send night actions have done so, or ( c ) the time limit for the night has expired.

As a courtesy to other players we ask that you confirm your provisional PM as soon as you are able.

3.4 - Last Resort PM
In extraordinary circumstances you may be allowed to send in a last resort PM. A last resort PM will not be acted upon by the mods until ( a ) you confirm your choice with another PM or ( b ) the time limit for the night has expired. Should you need to send a last resort PM, you must first seek the mods approval by explaining the circumstances that necessitate such a PM. Last resort PMs are accepted only at the discretion of the mods.

3.5 - Failure to PM
If not all PMs are received within the time limit, everyone who has failed to send in a PM will be considered to have taken no action. In addition, those who failed to send in a PM will be warned by the mods or may risk further penalties.

3.6 - Changing a Night Action
PMs to the mod can be changed at any point before the new day is announced. A PM is considered to be changed only after the mod receives and has read the PM. The player bears the risk that the mod will post the morning scene after the player has sent in a new PM but before the mod has actually read it.

3.7 - Abusing the Time Limit
If the mods have included a night time limit, it begins as soon as the previous day ended, regardless of when the mods posted the evening scene. However, this time limit is a maximum limit, and all players should send in PMs as soon as they feel comfortable doing so. Players (and mods) prefer shorter nights, as people are anxious to see who may have died and to begin voting again. If the mods feel that a player is abusing the time limit by unreasonably stalling, they may force the player to take no night action or take other appropriate action.

3.8 Preventing Night Actions
Except where expressly noted, no night actions prevent any other night actions sent in from taking effect.

3.9 - Morning Scene
The night phase ends when the mods post the morning scene. The mods will post the scene shortly after all night action PMs have been received. The scene will report any player deaths that occurred during the night, and might also reveal information about the lynched player, such as the player’s alt or alignment. There are no hidden clues in the morning scenes. As soon as the scene is posted any players who have been killed at night will no longer be active players and can no longer post in the thread. The time limit for the new day will begin with the morning scene.

Section 4 - Endgame
The game will continue to alternate between day and night phases until the game ends. The game can end after either a day or night phase.

4.1 - Winning Conditions
The game ends once one faction has reached its winning conditions, which the mods will state in a later post.

Mafia is a team game. Once one faction achieves its winning conditions, all members of that faction have won whether or not they are active players when the winning conditions are achieved.

4.2 - Ending Scene
The mods will post an ending scene and declare the game over shortly after one faction achieves its winning conditions. If for any reason it becomes impossible for either faction to achieve its winning conditions, the mods will declare the game a draw.

The game is only over when a mod posts the ending scene. Even if you know (or believe you know) the result of the game before then, you may not post in the thread unless you are an active player.

4.3 - Calling the Game Early
The mods reserve the right to end the game at any time before a faction achieves its winning conditions provided there are compelling reasons to do so. In general, the mods will end the game early as soon as one faction's victory becomes inevitable.

4.4 - Spoilers
When the game is over, the mods will reveal the alts and roles of everybody who played and also give everyone access to the spoiled spectator threads on the discussion board.

House Targaryen
ALT RULES

In this game all the players will be using alts.

1) Players must not post in any thread other than the game thread using their game alt. Any posts accidently made in another thread should be edited blank as soon as possible.

2) Players must not change the password to their game alt that the mods picked for them.

When posting in the game thread, all active players must take care not to:

1) Post using any account other than their game alt. Any posts made 'out of alt' must be edited blank, and players must not make any comment on their contents in the game thread.

2) Deliberately reveal any information relating to the identity behind the alt of any player (living or dead) or to any aspect of their identity (including their geographic location and their level of experience in playing mafia).

3) Speculate about the identity behind the alt of any player (living or dead) or on any aspect of their identity (including their geographic location and their level of experience in playing mafia).

4) Claim or hint at having any knowledge of, or having made any assumptions about, the identity behind the alt of any other player (living or dead)..

The mods reserve the right to edit any posts that do not comply with these rules, and may take further action if they feel it necessary.

In addition, all players and spectators should obey the following rules, and must not:

1) Either confirm or deny if they are playing in the game if this information may be seen by living players.

2) Speculate about, or reveal any information relating to, the identity behind the game alt of any player (living or dead) where this speculation or information may be seen or heard by living players.
House Targaryen
The setting:


The old and trusted cook of a known gourmet Wyman Manderly has died of natural causes (his head has been mysteriously split in two pieces by a butcher's axe). He was the CF, so you don't have it. Lord Wyman has invited some of the world's best cooks to a contest for the prestigious place of his personal cook. Each day, he'll expell one of the contestants, based on the opinion of his fellow cooks. Before presenting him their meals, each cook has to taste their own meal to make sure that Lord is not poisoned.








Roles (every role may be multiplied):



These roles will be used:



Evil faction:


The evil chef (FM):

You are a member of an organization whose purpose is to place a cook in every kitchen in the world, thus eventually establishing world domination. At nights, you can add a teaspoon of Strangler to the meal of a chosen cook.

Each night, you may PM the name of one player to the mods. If no other role intervenes, that player will die at the end of the night. If there is an apprentice FM, you will know their identity, but if there's an apprentice symp, then not. You'll come up guilty if investigated by a Finder. You and your partners are allowed to communicate off-thread all the time.


The Kid (symp):

You are young, and your moral values are dubious, if not nonexistent. You've been stalking on the Evil Chefs for some time, and you know their identities. You hope that they'll accept you to the group if you help them win the game.

You'll come up innocent if investigated by a Finder.


Innocent faction:


World's greatest cook (kill-switcher):

You're simply the best. People would kill to taste your masterpieces. Even the other cooks can't resist the urge to try it. You may offer them to taste your meals instead of you.

Three times during the game, you may PM the name of one player to the mods. If you're targeted, and no other role intervenes, that player will die instead of you. However, each time you choose to perform this action, you must send to the mods a short essay about a sad event from your childhood.



These roles may be used:


Evil Faction:


Apprentice (Apprentice FM):

You show much talent, and The Evil Chefs want you to join them.

You don't know the identity of the FM, and will come up innocent if investigated by a Finder. However, if all of the FM die, you gain the ability to kill at night, and will come up guilty if investigated by a Finder.


The Daring Kid (symp apprentice FM):
Not only do you know the identities of the evil chefs, but you're also brave enough to jump in their boots once they're eliminated.

You know the identity of the FM, and will come up innocent if investigated by a Finder. However, if all of the FM die, you gain the ability to kill at night, and will come up guilty if investigated by a Finder. The FM don't know who you are.


Innocent Faction:


Old Cook (Finder):

You've been in the business for years. You can remember every cook you've ever met, and the only cooks you haven't met are the evil chefs. However, you're a bit senile now, so it takes you a whole day to remember if you know the guy.

Each night you may PM the name of one player to the mods. If no other role intervenes, in the morning you'll find out if they're a killer or not.



Both Factions (these roles may be used alone or in combination with any of the previously mentioned roles):


Enthusiastic (Guard):
You are really into cooking, and you like to discuss recipes as much as possible. As funny as it sounds, some people find this boring.

Each night you may PM the name of one player to the mods. If that player is roled, and no other role intervenes, they will be prevented from performing their night action. However, if there are more than one players performing this action, it will go trough.


Showman (Soldier):
Generally, you're not a very good cook. However, you can prepare a meal with style. If you're ever one of the last two players, you'll impress Wyman and win the contest. If the two opposed soldiers are the last people left alive, the game ends in a draw.


Friends (Friends):
You've known each other for years. You learned to cook together. You know you can trust each other.

You and your Friend may communicate off-thread all the time.


Healer (Healer):
You have plenty of anti-strangler potion, and are willing to use it.

Each night you may PM the name of one player to the mods. If no other role intervenes, that player can't be killed that night.


The Guy With A Big Knife (vig):
You have a knife. It's big. It can be used to kill people. You have no problem with that, but the knife is so big and heavy that you can't lift it once it's buried in someone's head.

Once during the game, you may PM the name of one player to the mods. If no other role intervenes, that player will die at the end of the night. Your kill is wasted otherwise.
House Targaryen
You may begin posting.

PM House Targaryen with your thoughts, and please tell me if I screwed anything tehnical up.

Spidey



GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
House Toyne
*goes first*
House Mertyns
What a loser, trying to get first just for the sake of it. Definitely an FM move!
House Thorne
Chef Jamie Thorne aka The Naked Chef reporting. I'm famous for not measuring things and making delicious meals from bare essentials.

What's our first Iron Born Chef ingedient?
House Saltcliff
What the Beep? Other Beeping chefs in my beeping kitchen? Don't you know I'm Florent beeping Ramsey?
Sarah WJ
Hi.
House Thorne
QUOTE (House Merryweather @ Apr 13 2008, 07.29) *
Hi.


Merryweather

Try not to be so obvious next time.
House Saltcliff
QUOTE (House Fell @ Apr 13 2008, 13.16) *
What a loser, trying to get first just for the sake of it. Definitely an FM move!


He whom throws the first suspicions, looks suspicious most! I'll be watching you closesly!

Also, you was evil last game. A leopard never changes it's spots, eh Fell?

I'd bring up the fell and faceless man connection too, buy you're probably evil enough to twist that one round to try to make me out to be bad!

How's that for a case, ladies and gentlemen.
House Saltcliff
QUOTE (House Thorne @ Apr 13 2008, 13.32) *
Merryweather

Try not to be so obvious next time.



Wow. Is your avatar a thin penis with three balls?
Sarah WJ
QUOTE (House Thorne @ Apr 13 2008, 08.32) *
Merryweather

Try not to be so obvious next time.


It's a habit I am unable to break.

Thank you for helping me through my problem Thorne.
House Mertyns
QUOTE (House Florent @ Apr 13 2008, 09.33) *
He whom throws the first suspicions, looks suspicious most! I'll be watching you closesly!

Also, you was evil last game. A leopard never changes it's spots, eh Fell?

I'd bring up the fell and faceless man connection too, buy you're probably evil enough to twist that one round to try to make me out to be bad!

How's that for a case, ladies and gentlemen.

It is not so good.

And apparently you see penises everywhere.
House Saltcliff
QUOTE (House Fell @ Apr 13 2008, 13.35) *
It is not so good.



Really?

Aww. You suck! thumbsdown.gif

I guess I'll just have to take the Fell
House Estermont
QUOTE
World's greatest cook (kill-switcher):
Oh yesssss!
They should call it World's Justest cook, though.
House Dayne
QUOTE (House Florent @ Apr 13 2008, 08.36) *
Really?

Aww. You suck! thumbsdown.gif

I guess I'll just have to take the Fell

I hope that wasn't an attempt at a pun...
House Mertyns
QUOTE (House Florent @ Apr 13 2008, 09.36) *
Really?

Aww. You suck! thumbsdown.gif

I guess I'll just have to take the Fell

Wait, if you have to take the fell...shouldn't you die Florent?


Hayford, my god, your avatar burns my virgin eyes!
House Dayne
QUOTE (House Fell @ Apr 13 2008, 09.41) *
Hayford, my god, your avatar burns my virgin eyes!

I'm tempted to stop posting entirely so we don't have to look at it. frown5.gif
House Saltcliff
QUOTE (House Fell @ Apr 13 2008, 13.41) *
Wait, if you have to take the fell...shouldn't you die Florent?


Hayford, my god, your avatar burns my virgin eyes!



Yeah. I'm claiming suicide bomber.

Wait, we don't have that role? Balls.


And as for seeing penises everywhere, we are looking to become Lord Mandrely's new Cock, right?
House Mertyns
QUOTE (House Florent @ Apr 13 2008, 09.44) *
Yeah. I'm claiming suicide bomber.

Wait, we don't have that role? Balls.


And as for seeing penises everywhere, we are looking to become Lord Mandrely's new Cock, right?

That was already corrected... thumbsdown.gif
House Saltcliff
QUOTE (House Fell @ Apr 13 2008, 13.45) *
That was already corrected... thumbsdown.gif


Nah... The mods are bluffing. It really is a search for a penis.

Hense, calling in chefs!
House Thorne
QUOTE (House Florent @ Apr 13 2008, 07.33) *
Wow. Is your avatar a thin penis with three balls?


Yes. Three very low-hanging balls. Polytesticularism is Thorne family trait. We wear it with pride.
House Thorne
I'm seriously tempted to switch to Hayford just for the av. ack.gif
House Thorne
SLow start. unsure.gif Did anyone else think this game was supposed to start tomorrow?
House Mertyns
Yup, must have gotten enough signups early. Works better for me as just in the last few days I've discovered my week might be a bit busier than I realized. Won't stop me from playing more mafia than I should though. wink.gif
House Dayne
Sorry, every time I post, I have to fight nausea.
House Saltcliff
QUOTE (House Hayford @ Apr 13 2008, 14.07) *
Sorry, every time I post, I have to fight nausea.


Look on the bright side...

If you throw up your meal, you won't die of poison.

You'll be hung as a traitor instead! :-p
House Mertyns
QUOTE (House Hayford @ Apr 13 2008, 10.07) *
Sorry, every time I post, I have to fight nausea.

Your av looks like the result of nausea.
House Toyne
I guess there has been worse reasons for lynching someone... But we should at least wait a few days, see if the eyes adjust to it wink.gif
House Mertyns
QUOTE (House Mallister @ Apr 13 2008, 10.14) *
I guess there has been worse reasons for lynching someone... But we should at least wait a few days, see if the eyes adjust to it wink.gif

Mallister, why are you defending Hayford? Any reason you'd like to be sure they stick around for a few days?
House Estermont
QUOTE (House Hayford @ Apr 13 2008, 09.07) *
Sorry, every time I post, I have to fight nausea.
Replace it, you should have rights.
I am quite sure mods won't blame you for changing the avatar.

House Toyne
QUOTE (House Fell @ Apr 13 2008, 16.16) *
Mallister, why are you defending Hayford? Any reason you'd like to be sure they stick around for a few days?

Because he's my master. Wops, guess I outed him. Better lynch him fast, then.
House Mertyns
QUOTE (House Mallister @ Apr 13 2008, 10.34) *
Because he's my master. Wops, guess I outed him. Better lynch him fast, then.

There is no CF, so I'd expect FM partners to be a bit more willing to defend each other than with CF.
House Ferren
:looks around disapprovingly:

hmph! I thought the competition would be stronger.

:unpacks knives, garlic press, 11 secret herbs & spices:

First order of business: I gotta go find the privy.
House Estren
Hello there fellow cooks. I thought I would share with you all one of my favourite recipes. In fact I am going to be cooking this hearty dinner tonight for the good Lord Manderly, who I am sure can not fail to be impressed.

Bullock Stew

1 pound of penis, ram's or bull's
3 tbls. oil
1 large chopped onion
2 garlic cloves, peeled and chopped
1 tsp coriander seeds, crushed
1 tsp salt
freshly ground black pepper

Scald the penis, then drain and clean (doesn't say how you clean a penis. Not sure a guy would know since this penis is, well . . . never mind).
Place the penis in a saucepan, cover with cold water, and bring to a boil.
Remove any scum, then simmer for 10 minutes.
Drain and slice.
Heat the oil in a large skillet.
Add the onion, garlic, and coriander and fry until the onion is golden.
Add the penis slices and fry on both sides for a few minutes.
Stir in the remaining ingredients with a good grinding of pepper, add enough water to cover, and bring to a boil.
Lower the heat, cover, and simmer for about 2 hours, or until tender.
Add a little water from time to time if necessary to prevent burning.


Please note, Recipe orrigoanlly from Two Fat Laddies “Full Throttle” say this was originally a Jewish recipe from Marcelle Thomal. Apparently innards, including penis, once played a major role in Jewish cooking.


You may as well all give up now. The position of Head Cook is quiet obviously mine. smug.gif
House Hollard
Since I am responsible for the desserts, I hope we have enough sugar here.


Has anyone seen Kim Basinger? drool.gif
House Saltcliff
QUOTE (House Plumm @ Apr 13 2008, 14.52) *
Hello there fellow cooks. I thought I would share with you all one of my favourite recipes. In fact I am going to be cooking this hearty dinner tonight for the good Lord Manderly, who I am sure can not fail to be impressed.

Bullock Stew

1 pound of penis, ram's or bull's
3 tbls. oil
1 large chopped onion
2 garlic cloves, peeled and chopped
1 tsp coriander seeds, crushed
1 tsp salt
freshly ground black pepper

Scald the penis, then drain and clean (doesn't say how you clean a penis. Not sure a guy would know since this penis is, well . . . never mind).
Place the penis in a saucepan, cover with cold water, and bring to a boil.
Remove any scum, then simmer for 10 minutes.
Drain and slice.
Heat the oil in a large skillet.
Add the onion, garlic, and coriander and fry until the onion is golden.
Add the penis slices and fry on both sides for a few minutes.
Stir in the remaining ingredients with a good grinding of pepper, add enough water to cover, and bring to a boil.
Lower the heat, cover, and simmer for about 2 hours, or until tender.
Add a little water from time to time if necessary to prevent burning.


Please note, Recipe orrigoanlly from Two Fat Laddies “Full Throttle” say this was originally a Jewish recipe from Marcelle Thomal. Apparently innards, including penis, once played a major role in Jewish cooking.


You may as well all give up now. The position of Head Cook is quiet obviously mine. smug.gif


I don't know if you're a killer..

However, anyone who cooks a penis must be evil.
House Mertyns
QUOTE (House Corbray @ Apr 13 2008, 10.49) *
:looks around disapprovingly:

hmph! I thought the competition would be stronger.

:unpacks knives, garlic press, 11 secret herbs & spices:

First order of business: I gotta go find the privy.

Is the strangler one of those secret herbs or spices? Just curious.

Plumm, I was planning on making something like this:
2 pounds calf testicles*
2 cups beer
2 eggs, beaten
1 ½ cups all-purpose flour
¼ cup yellow cornmea1
Salt and ground black pepper to taste
Vegetable oil**
1 tablespoon hot pepper sauce

* Be sure to ask your butcher for calf testicles, not bull testicles. Calf testicles are the size of a walnut and are much more tender than the larger bull testicles.

** Use enough vegetable oil to fill your frying container halfway to the top (to allow for bubbling up and splattering) and to completely cover calf testicles while frying.

With a very sharp knife, split the tough skin-like muscle that surrounds each testicle. Remove the skin (you can remove the skin easily if the testicles are frozen, then peel while thawing). Slice each testicle into approximately 1/4- to 1/2-inch-thick ovals. Place slices in a large pan or blow with enough beer to cover them; cover and let sit 2 hours.

In a shallow bowl, combine eggs, flour, cornmeal, salt, and pepper. Remove testicles from beer; drain and dredge thoroughly in the flour mixture. In a large, deep pot, heat oil to 375 degrees F. Deep fry 3 minutes or until golden brown (will rise to the surface when done). Drain on paper towels.

Serve warm with your favorite hot pepper sauce.

...delicious!
House Hollard
QUOTE (House Florent @ Apr 13 2008, 10.54) *
I don't know if you're a killer..

However, anyone who cooks a penis must be evil.


No, anyone who pisses in my desserts must be evil!!!!!!!!! pirate.gif
House Mertyns
QUOTE (House Wythers @ Apr 13 2008, 10.57) *
No, anyone who pisses in my desserts must be evil!!!!!!!!! pirate.gif

Do you put penis in your desserts?
House Dayne
Hayford is gone. Behold his successor, the far more aesthetically pleasing House Dayne!
House Mertyns
I liked Hayford better. frown5.gif

Everyone should have been subjected to that avatar like we were.
House Saltcliff
QUOTE (House Fell @ Apr 13 2008, 14.58) *
Do you put penis in your desserts?


Spotted Dick perhaps?
House Estren
QUOTE (House Florent @ Apr 13 2008, 06.54) *
I don't know if you're a killer..

However, anyone who cooks a penis must be evil.


If your gonna grill them, then they taste best Rare, not raw and served with a creamy Béarnaise sause
House Hollard
Hey, why has Hayford been replaced by Dayne?

I also want to change my alt - the Swyft one would fit to the recent discussion.
House Saltcliff
QUOTE (House Plumm @ Apr 13 2008, 15.03) *
If your gonna grill them, then they taste best Rare, not raw and served with a creamy Béarnaise sause


I'm going to resist jokes about heating up in a warm place first, AND creamy sauces...
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